We're facebook friends in real life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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