He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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