um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
