I don't usually arrange sex via text message
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
