Sry I called you an 8
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
