Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Every concussion has its silver lining
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
