You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize