please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
