Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize