He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
did you just send me my own nude
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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