Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize