She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
