it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
