they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
