Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
