Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
