Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
