when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
