help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
