you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
