then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
