What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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