wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
