he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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