She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
