She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
