we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
