Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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