i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
