In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
