It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
