Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
