I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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