break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
