How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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