I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
