please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
