walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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