toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
