If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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