wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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