whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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