Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
