Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
