i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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