You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
