I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
