Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
