Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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