He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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