So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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