I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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