I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
