$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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