help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's like heaven, but drunker
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
