dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
