Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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