When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was like eating out sand paper
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
