he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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