how hairy? two words: wookie tits
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
