absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize